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Where to start?

January 12, 2013

I am a transgender woman. m2f. This is my first blog so bear with me. I am hoping that the accounts of my life in transition will be helpful to any of you reading this that may be going through a similar experience or for that matter who has already transitioned that might want to share with me helpful advice from your journey.
Alright then… I suppose a little information about me would be appropriate at this point. First off let me say that this was never a choice but rather something that was merely suppressed for far to long. I have always known that my outer gender appearance did not coincide with what was going on inside of me. From my earliest memory I knew that I was a girl. Unfortunately the outside world did not see me as that so after much struggling with trying to convince the world around me that they where wrong I resigned to living as a gay man for far to many years. Although still ridiculed to some extent it seemed to be far more of an excepted role than the one I was trying to live. On that note let me just say that it was not necessarily the easier path to take but rather a postponement of the inevitable.
A word of advice. Don’t postpone the inevitable. In the end the only thing you accomplish is wasting time. I am 35 now and started my hormone treatment at 34. ( I’ll get into that in another posting. ) I should have pursued treatment when I was 17 and almost died from a suicide attempt. That should have been my red flag telling me that something had to be done. Instead I shelved my true self and went undercover as Michael the gay guy. Don’t get me wrong… As a gay guy I lived out loud and proud. There were lovers, good times, friends and more, but all that time inside was Michelle trying to be content with the facade. Although I feel fortunate to have met and befriended some of the people I did my life would have probably been very different as a woman. I try to justify the prolonging of reaching this stage in my life by believing that everything has a reason. None the less don’t postpone being true to yourself. In the end it’s you who has to live with it.



From → transgender

  1. Very well written and informative! I look forward to reading more!!

  2. Candice permalink

    You are the bravest, strongest person I have ever known. I love you more than you will ever know!!

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